No one wants to be the “bad” parent, we all want to be friends with our kids, but let’s be real, sometimes having a “bad guy” in the home is necessary.
Let’s talk about the naughty corner. This disciplinary tactic has served us well over the years. I used to think like seriously, “what is the point”, but the point is isolation and it is also to give the child a chance to calm down. No child wants to be excluded from anything or feel isolated. I think it also makes them feel like their behaviour is being called upon and displayed for all to see, which I find they do not appreciate at all.
There are situations, however, when I personally feel like this is just a waste of my time. We will address that later on, but these are 3 very important factors to remember
We used it a lot in the case of a tantrum. I promise the first time you do this, they will think it’s a joke or a game unless they go to pre-school, or daycare, which my kids didn’t. Well, not until they were 4 years old. I felt that it was important to follow the strategies a school would use to make the teacher’s lives are a little easier. I don’t believe my child’s bad behaviour should ruin a teacher’s day, or make people feel uncomfortable, whoever it may be, even if it’s a stranger on the street.
This action has to be taken IMMEDIATELY. This is not a tactic you want to use after having received a call from a teacher at a school. Or at the end of a weekend sleepover. It’s too late! Those scenarios should have a different punishment.
This is definitely not something that can be done at a mall or while you’re running errands, come on, let’s face it you are also tired and would just like to get home. It is also not ok at other people’s homes unless it’s your immediate family. This is important, more so, when you know your child doesn’t take you seriously, because you are only going to seem as if you’re incompetent and don’t know what you’re doing, or when someone wants to come and help you and then your child has the perception that you don’t know what you’re doing.
This is the most important part, so get out your notebooks and make notes, better yet pin it 😉 for easy reference.
1. Ask them politely to stop what they are doing – try and be specific (this will come in handy later on)
2. In my case I used a counting technique “I am going to count to 3 and then there will be consequences”
3. If they persist, calmly take their hand and escort them to the designated naughty corner (Do not change its location, they have to eventually know where they are headed).
4. They will run out, do not engage and get angry, they are looking for a reaction, just DON’T DO IT! Just take their hand and walk them back.
5. By the 3rd time, if they come out, you are going to come down to their level (perhaps on 1 knee), look them straight in the eye and explain to them, in a very stern voice not screaming though, that the more they keep running around and not staying in the corner, the longer they will be there. Sure enough, for me at least, they would walk themselves back there and stay. After a few seconds or minutes, you will probably get the “How long should I stay here?” question. This is typically their age in minutes (e.g. if the child is 3 years old, they get a 3-minute timeout).
Once the ordeal is over, they will ask you if they can come out and you’d obviously say yes, but you will then go there and ask them, do you know why you were in the naughty corner, 9 times out of 10 they will know why, and almost every time you will get an apology without asking for one.
Let’s get serious now
I have explained, when, where and how. Now let me give you some parental advice. As much as you love your child and they are crying, DO NOT apologize for putting them there! Ever! Even while you’re explaining yourself, it shouldn’t include an apology, it shows weakness.
No matter how many times you have to run after them, be persistent! If you have your spouse there, take turns, so that they know you both are very serious. Once you have the technique down, buy the time you say “I am counting to 3 “you will get an apology.
Now at my kids’ ages all I have to say is “Excuse me”, then the tantrum is over. It gets easier and YOU have to understand, that discipline is necessary. You might learn to deal with your child, but the world won’t be as forgiving. We are preparing them for the outside world and unless you prefer to raise a hermit, discipline is very important.
Again, I know I come off as a drill sergeant but rudeness is not tolerated in my home AT ALL. I have 3 kids, 2 boys who were extremely naughty and a girl who can scream like no other. I also had to learn to be tough, but here I am, with pretty decent kids, who may try their luck with me, but know their place in public!
I know we don’t do things to impress other people, or at least I don’t, but I like having pleasant outings with my family with zero embracements…and I mean zero. I will even draw them into a huddle and prep them before we go anywhere and they know I won’t tolerate it.
So those are my tips on the naughty corner, please we know what worked for you?
Thanks for stopping by and have a WONDERFUL week!
Disclaimer: This is my experience and what worked for us, if this isn’t working for you, please check for additional resources to find a different point of view.